i, madhiah, just scolded my neighbour.
can you believe it?
it was totally unintentional! but i think it was the right thing to do. totally!

well you see, these two boys (10-12yrs old) who happens to be my next door neighbour, have always been really naughty and have been making noise - shouting, yelling, screaming - and doing nonsensical things which they are not supposed to do at the corridor like playing soccer or throwing things or WHATNOT, you name it. so JUST NOW, they decided to play ball and my mom asked me to close the door. suddenly.... i nagged at them and said "want to play ball, play there *points out* not here! play outside!! if play here hit the glass then break HOW? huh! play there la!!!" because obviously if i were to slam the door, they wont give a damn. and they went like "uh..okok..." mwahahahah.

wahh fierce anot??!


so ANYHOWS, i seriously didnt pass ANYTHING. straight 'S' and a 'U'. last night, i asked my dad to sign my math paper. i got 44. and my dad asked "wah.. 44/50 issit?" and i disappointed him by replying, "uh.. no over 100. actually... i failed everything."

waaaa damn depressing.
it doesnt matter if there are people who did worse.. i failed too ANYWAYS.
so... i must work harder.
hah cliche cliche.
what else to do right?

had dikir barat practice today.
it's really sad that i cant count 1 - 8 in malay without fumbling! this is how i count ok... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 7, 6. i think i have counting in malay disorder!

oh yeah i finished copying down my chem block test corrections FOUR TIMES because i failed the 2nd test again. ahhh. howww???


ok byebye!

Blogged @ 8:51:00 PM




to those who cared, thanks so much for the concern. (:

i was just flowing too much with the unbearable emotions.
i guess all i really needed was the strength which i guess i've already gained.. for now.
maybe the reason for unhappiness is purely because i'm not living the way i want it to be, and how it has always been.
life gets tougher as we grow huh?
i just want to hang out, chill and slack all the time like those secondary school days, but time doesnt permit.
if only i've the ability to slack 24/7 and do well academically.
it isnt that easy i suppose.
i just need to bear with the opportunity costs that i have to sacrifice.
hahah whatever.

anws, ive some pictures from CVD, credits to huda!
i want more pictures, okay diy and nisha? :p
ahh should have brought my camera.


i've been sleeping late these days.
not good. because i feel tired all the time.
good because at least i do my homework. (:

i fell asleep at about 7.40pm just now and woke up at 11.10pm and i asked my sister "what happened?" because i was probably in a trance. hoho.

ill just read up chem and go to sleep now.
good night! ;)

Blogged @ 1:21:00 AM





i am heartless and selfish.
if i was a baby i'd wail and bawl like there's no tomorrow.
i'll just go run to the toilet now and drown myself in inconsolable tears.
maybe i need attitude adjustment.

Blogged @ 10:49:00 PM




the week has been real busy.
CVD was enjoyable today.
i guess it's as enjoyable as last year's but this year's ended really early.
i just feel happy being in school today.
maybe there are some reasons. heehee.

229's street soccer booth or whatever you call it was... ok la.. i guess reponse wasnt too bad. there were 12 teams that went for the tournament? yeah.
aaand atmosphere was great as well. everyone seemed busy and everyone looked happy.
performed guitar for the first time in history as an ensemble!!
i think we were okay only. could have been better. but considering we had reaaallly short notice, i guess wasnt that bad la huh. all i know is that i missed quite a few notes and i looked at hayati and huda and smiled! hahahah. thanks you girls for coming! :D loooveee you to bits and pieces! and thanks shiks, diy, farah for the support too! :D:D nuruuuul! it felt like we didnt perform at all right??? hahah

other performances were great too. :D
heehee.
especially.. aiya dont wanna say.

i feel too lazy to say what happened la. i want photos!!! stupidly, i didnt bring the camera.
gahh.

i've a mixed feeling of happiness and sadness.

chilled at long john silver's after CVD with diy, shiks, helmi, ruz, faiz, yasmin and dinie. but yas and dinie left earlier. something happened but i shant say. mat rock joined us later and we listened to his craps. i just didnt feel like going home. oh well.

this sadness just seem unexpressable if there's such a word, which i dont think there is.
i just dont know what to do.
i hate to admit defeat when i know i'm not the only one at fault.
ok maybe i shouldnt have done what i did.
and i'm sorry for that.
just, SORRY ok.
sigh.

i'm an expert at feeling miserable and guilty.
oh well.
i just feel ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
oh emo emo emoooooo
just stop it ok.
ugh

i dont feel like doing anything la
but if i dont start my homework tonight, tomorrow i will crap green shit - geddit?
i heard before pple die, their shit is green.
hahhh. not sure how true that is.


if only i could rewind time.. i wanna be where i was and watch what i saw again.


ahh i think this entry is going nowhere la. not very organised.
i shall stop here and update when i've photos.
if not the blog like so dull.
not that millions of people read it, but stilll...

k gd night one and all!

Blogged @ 10:05:00 PM




please excuse the previous post. i think i was just overreacting and being too sensitive?
oh welll.


as much as i try to stay away from the computer, it gets more and more impossible.
truly hard.
i have to use it for some reasons.
hmmm...

so anyways i THINK there's no homework that's due tomorrow...
oh how i wish i can relax BUT i have to complete some of the homework due on Friday because tomorrow will be another busy busssyyy day. i'll have to see the doctor after the last lesson ends and then go back to school for dikir barat. then on friday got guitar practice at the quadrangle.

ahhhh im getting the chills.
i'm really scared!
we, guitar ensemble members, HAVE to do our ultimate best la!
i've to practise reaaaallllyyyy hard today, tomorrow, the day after and the morning before the performance! i dont care if my fingers bleed or harden. dont want to lose face la. :p
i've been listening to the song we're playing over and over again.

i like the busy feeling.
but i hate it as well because i dont know how to juggle everything given the amount of time i have.
hmmm

oh, tomorrow's the O lvls results, ALREADY! hahaha
all the best you O lvls pple! :D

i REALLY REALLY havent passed anything yet la! this is annoying!
i might fail malay also. this is really sad.
oh man i'm sucha loser.
i failed GP by one mark.
ONE MARK.
waaa...
i really hate it when i dont understand what i write.
it gives me undesirable results.

at least in primary school, writing down stuff anyhow can gain me some sympathy marks.
haha i think.


had a great laugh during malay today.
oh man funny funny pictures.
reminds me of the malay lessons with cikgu cheah.
oh how i miss those days.
where on earth can anyone get such a crazy teacher like that? :p
cikgu CCC rocks!
alright before i crap more than i should, i better go and do ermmm.... malay or math or something now.

CVD on saturday!!
oh man.
when i can i tutor those kids?

okla okla BYEEE

Blogged @ 9:44:00 PM




and so i've an infection at the pupil of my left eye.
i swear the eyedrops leave a bitter taste in my throat that it made me vomit in school just now.
sick.
i've never vomitted in school before - after eating some more.

missed PE today.
i was supposed to be on MC but went to school anyway.
not that the infection is severe, but if the white spot had been in the middle of the pupil, i could lose my vision!
:S:S:S:S

eh ive lost the mood to type anything la.


i havent passed anything for the blocks yet.
waiting for malay results.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i must persevere!
just about 10months till this misery will END.
and i just realised.. this pain and torture.......
is just the beginning.


:'(

Blogged @ 9:57:00 PM




ughh.
i went thru all the trouble searching for singapore's GDP growth last year and forgot that mr heng did mention it during GP. dumb or what?
ughhdhldsfmomsdf

i hate homework which has got to do with research and computer.
reminds me of pw days - not the good ones.


the computer makes my eyes very sleepy.
so much for wanting to stay up late to complete as much homework as possible.
my eyes cant even last another second.
one day is bleedin not enough to do revision and homework.
everyone has 24 hours and some people can do everything in the world and even have enough time to sleep.
why can't i?

:'(

Blogged @ 11:48:00 PM




people are getting busier these days.
people today are busier than the people then.
if that is so, wouldnt people in the future be even more busy?

adults will be too busy with work.
the younger ones will be too busy with school.
who will take care of the elderlies later on if busy-ness is at its peak?

i think my grandmother is lonely.
she's not strong enough to go out by herself and 'hang out' with her friends or anything.
she always mentions about how she used to take the bus herself and go to the mosque and reach home so late everytime. i remember the days when she used to do that as well.
now she's older and more fragile and she cant walk a lot.
so she talks a lot about the past, which i dont really mind la most of the time.
but... when her grandkids go to school and my mom goes to work, she has no one to talk to.
talking on the phone is obviously not as nice as being able to go out and meet the peeple herself right?
so all she keeps doing is housework. she watches tv and listens to the radio as well to entertain herself. i'm not very sure how she feels but i'm quite certain she does get a little lonely at times.
nowadays school hours don't end later than 3pm it seems. even my youngest sibling reaches home at a minimum of 3+ pm with the exception of fridays la (because secondary school kids always get the luxury of enjoying the weekends in advanced. thanks to friday prayers. hurhur)

what will happen to ME when i get older? - if i happen to live till that age.
what if my husband died before me? - if i happen to get married.

maybe it's good to think about it, but not too much and get really paranoid, huh?
heehee.
just a random thought.

oh well. just using my econs homework as an excuse to use the computer.
i really hate the computer for taking study time away from me.

i got a very very lousy U for chemistry.
at first, i didnt understand why i tend to get the worst grade i can ever imagine even though i always study chem the most. i think the problem is the way i study it. i havent grasp the whole chemistry concept yet. will i have the time to capture everything in my brain... in time for the longawaited A levels? i hope so.
everyone seems to be getting at least a U. how can the school accomodate these people, including me, for SSSP? so i am hoping they change the requirement for SSSP admission. aiya i am being selfish huh? maybe i deserve going for ssp. but how much can i possible absorb within that span of time? and the journey from home to school also requires TIME right? then how, u tell me? waste time only. maybe they can trust us to have our own ssp at home so that we can apply a little bit of integrity??

ok maybe i should just shut up, stop wasting time complaining and DO MY ECONS ASSIGNMENT.
goodbye!

Blogged @ 4:38:00 PM




i've seen this video a few times before a few months ago but just remembered now that i wanted to download the song since the first time i heard it.

for those interested, go watch long road to ruin by foo fighters on youtube or something k.
i never failed to laugh whenever i watch that video. especially 3:24 part of the video because... hahaha some reasons, right ameera and aisyah?
their videos are always da shit. hahaha

it feels so nice to stay at home.
vectors can be quite fun. but not question 6! or was it 7? maybe not yet..
it took me about 2 hours doing about 5 questions of tutorial 7.1!
oh well.

okay good night people and to those taking their LAST PAPER tomorrow, all the best! ;)

Blogged @ 10:59:00 PM




omg so BODOH lah this freakin' primary school teacher.
she keeps on sending me that particular primary school's MEETING AGENDA for PRIMARY THREE TEACHERS. eh hello?! get the recipient's email right can anot? i notified her each and everytime she sends me the email that she's got the wrong person. still makes the same mistake!


anyways finally block test 1 is over for me!
math paper was...... very A level standard since mr sim said 70% of the questions were exact questions from 2007 A lvl math paper. oh well. i estimated the marks for those qns i can do and guess how much i might be getting?


.... 34/100

:'(

i want to die already la!




i tend to do some things by accident sometimes. it's so annoying that i wished i never did it and that i should have think before taking any actions. i know i have to be sincere in everything that i do but if i didnt even do it in the first place then i wouldnt have to worry about being insincere, would i? i can't say what i have done specifically because 1) i dont know who'd read my blog. 2) there might be more than one thing that's really bothering me. then again, maybe it's just me. i shouldn't let this mini little things bother me.




anyways, i had a traumatic experience with regards to the escalator today.
it all began when shikeen asked if we wanna go check out the new munchy donuts place at sembawang. i thought i had to go home so that i can go out with my grandmother. but my mom told me to take my time since my grandmother was at the polyclinic. so i decided to go to sembawang with farah, nurul, cecilia and shikeen. diy!!! we called you then u didnt pick up!! ok so anyways, the donuts weren't ready yet so we decided to eat at macs cos farah was hungry for some reason! so blablablabla.... we went to sun plaza and shikeen was soooo attracted to the soccer leagues stuff - chelsea in particular. so she called up her brother to go over there to buy those merchandise. so we were hanging around near that area - which was near the escalator when we heard something fall down HARD followed by a lady screaming! oh the horror! an old man who was wheelchair bound fell off his wheelchair which was on the escalator which was moving downwards! crazy or what! the person taking care of him should know the proper way of bringing an old sickly man on a wheelchair down the escalator la. then again, maybe there was a logical explanation as to why the incident took place. ahh the scene left all of us in trauma! like there was blood on this head ok! and he was rushed to the nearest clinic. scary!

Blogged @ 10:18:00 PM




hijrah leisure night cycling was FUN!
not to mention stress relieving too.
omg seriously yesterday was like a rejuvenate-the-mind day for me or something.
i can feel the stress juice being filtered by these activities.
the night cycling with hayati and dinner with cheryl!
i wish life can be like that everyday. haha.




so i met up with hayati and kynn under my block and went to pick up farah - hayati's sister's bestfriend. (:
headed to the community centre in khatib and changed to the orange tshirt. had briefing blablabla.
oh there were lots of mats, aunties and uncles!
i saw ms lim the PE teacher too! haha
there were about 100 people participating. damn fun la!




first we went to the sikh temple beside orchid park.
then to the 2 temples near yjc. (i just realised my schools are always beside temples hahah)
after that we went to the lower seletar PUB dam to rest. we got to eat BANANAS! iLove. :D


thennnn we had a looong journey all the way to the church beside ahmad ibrahim mosque... and finally to AI mosque for debrief, lucky draw and supper cum breakfast. nasi lemak :D:D

the journey was painful for the thighs but all worth it because i really had so much fun with hayati laughing our asses off, singing to random songs, being the only 2 on the road because the crowd was either wayy in front or wayy behind! then had the encounter with mats who wanted to 'escort' us but we ignored them nonetheless. hahah. we had to cycle back home since we brought our own bicycles. luckily the route wasn't complicated or we wouldn't have been home by now. harhar. the atmosphere was great at night. so cooling. (:

reached home at about 3.15am. i hope i didn't anger the elderlies at home. that was the latest i ever reached home and 4am is the latest time i've ever slept. oh actually i think i slept at 4am 2 years ago too trying to complete emath and amath prelim papers from different schools. haha. ok so that's beside the point. if there was another event like this, i think i would consider participating again - with my parents' consent that is. i know i'm 18 already and all.. but rules are rules! heh. age doesn't mean anything as long as i'm.. i dunno when i'll be free-er la. but time will change everything i'm sure. :D

and thanks SO much hayati twinzeh for the present! i know you know i want it! hahahah! i wonder why! LOL. love you la!


last but not least....

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T CALL YOU AT MIDNIGHT because i was hijrah-ing. hahah
I HOPE YOU LIKE THE PRESENTS.
I'll give you better ones once you're done with your A levels, okay? go shoot those papers dead and enjoy victory! :D oh and tutor me when you're in singapore because chem is not being very nice to me. LOVE YOU!

Blogged @ 4:20:00 PM




laughter is always the best medicine huh?

chemistry paper was like piles of shit in the toilet bowl which cannot be flushed.
ok i really have no idea what's the connection.
maybe it's just the situation. it was bad. really bad.
i guess i have to prepare myself for a worse-rer grade this time. like between 0 to 10 maybe?
it's like REALLY BAD because if the usual bad ones... there are some stuff i can write to at least show that i did something even though it was still crap. but this one... ahhh i couldn't even think! let alone write!!! i spent about 15min pulling my hair and screaming in silence. it's either i get the answer right, or completely wrong. no half mark whatever pity marks. i wished i could just leave the exam venue and quit school. but too bad, i cannot change reality. after 3 freakin hours of trying to write some things (read: trying), there was another 2hours or so after trying to study for malay lit. of all the time i had yesterday, perhaps i should have been a bit smarter by studying malay lit instead of wasting time on chemistry which was of no use, really. so anyways, malay lit was like difficult too, but because of chem... i suppose it's quite okay because at least there were things to write and fill up at least 6 pieces of paper.

met up with cheryl tham YJ after mll paper!
oh boy it was damn stress relieving being able to laugh out loud without caring about the others sitting around us and... practically laughing non stop for about 1 hour or so which seemed like 2 hours! talked about damn random things under the sun and everything just seemed funny because well yea, we laughed non stop. :D thanks cheryl!

next up, late night cycling with hayati and her sister and her sister's bestfriend and other people! hahaha! ok i'll have to be ready by 9! now's like 8.38! i seriously have no idea how the procedure's gonna be like but i'm sure we'll have fun! i hope i'll have the stamina to keep up cycling because the last time i cycled was like.... centuries ago.

ok side track... my neighbour is still as noisy as ever. i can hear them even from my room! i think they dont have an indoor voice or something. sometimes this just makes me wish i dont live in a flat. bahhs.

Blogged @ 8:21:00 PM




headache laaaa :'(

Blogged @ 9:59:00 PM




haha so there was another surprise after all..
thanks u guys! :D

i was taking a short power nap from studying (read previous post) when my mom and aunt asked me to get up and change my clothes! i was like huhhhhh for whaaat!!!! and my mom was like.. take photo la! i was damned confused but then i suspect something. duhhh there must be smth.

i looked out of my room and saw those 4 pple! hahah
amelia and huda couldnt make it. :'(

oh well at least got hayati and cheryl right! heehee

okay i really have to get back to studying some more! this is getting fun.. whee




Blogged @ 5:30:00 PM






Blogged @ 4:01:00 PM




i just realised i forgot to thank royston for the pink top in the previous post.
i'm so sorry. well thanks ah sunny chiam kiat lin! hahhaha

my pw mates are so sweet.
they surprised me at BK. hahah. but peipei couldnt make it ):
oh well. thanks guys for the necklace + earrings! :D
and they treated me to BK breakfast.
ahh having breakfast there just reminds me of the pw days. hahah
and i saw hayati doing HER project work. so poor thing. hehe
oh and my aunt gave me a watch today. it's white and pink! ahh i love it. (:

i got my pay yesterday! and a brooch from cik zulyfah.
maybe i should start wearing tudung....
;)
happy birthday hidayati ;)

i'm so happy because i finished like 3/5 of my homework i think.
ive done DE&PnC for math, gp essay outline, outline for some of the malay lit essays and re-did one of mr puah's organic chem mindmap! now i just need to continue with chem tutorial and maybe start with a bit of econs - speaking of which, i need to get the revision package or smth. urghhh! i guess i can concentrate best at night! or maybe it just takes discipline, be it night or day. oh ya, ive not done my integration part of the math holiday exercises. oh mann no matter how much i did, there's always still a lot!


i really wanna get Flight of Fancy from Anna Sui!!
now that i have money...
should i get it?! should i? should i should i?!?!
ugghhh so much for saving up money for the rainy days.


ah MeLah's tag is so misleading la. made me have false hopes only seh.
hahah oh well life goes on..


okay ill force myself to finish up chem now!
toodles~!

Blogged @ 2:08:00 PM




heyy!
i wanna TRY and keep up with my promises that is to reduce computer usage to like 30min or so and to blog only when necessary. it took me hours to complete a post sometimes.. so.. yea. (: oh oh unless it's a friday night la, like now! or maybe during the weekends. hehe
so anyways the 2nd january was definitely a day to remember. hoho.
i would like to thank the people who wished me because it touches my heart you people remembered. yea so.. thanks to my parents, sister, brother and nenek, nas, fifa, makngah, ameera, aneesa, hayati, huda, amelia, cheryl, sarah, ridhwan, royston, munyra, ashyura, haikal, azry, shirley, junmei, josephine, diy, shiks, nurul, farah, cecilia, mala, yasmin, syu, natrisha, fadly, cik cah, haziq, atiqah, kakak diyana, kakak sarah, jannah, shahrool, ruzaini, peipei, faiz, helmi, sery, aishah, jeriel, minghong, hema, kakak siti, lynette, jade, weiying, mr heng, 229'08 (:, azila, izzah, amanda, anddd... ahh cant think already, mental block. i'm sorry if i missed out anyone but.. THANKS guys! :D

thanks mom&dad&nenek for the limegreen headphones!
thanks aisyah for the reaaallynice jacket from f21 (:
thanks muzakkir for getting me that top from f21 as well (:
thanks diyanah, farah, nurul and shikeen for the cute teddy and necklace (:
thanks cecilia for the bread thingy with stickies (:
thanks mala for the cute yellow soft toy thingy (:
thanks shirley and junmei for the GORGEOUS diary and the sweet msgs inside! (:
thanks nasuha, afifah, makngah, shafiqah, widad, nadhrah and iman for the REALLYREAALLLYYYY nice album with all those pictures and messages inside :D
thanks nenek for the money :D
thanks hayati for the virtual birthday cake :D
thanks amelia and cheryl for being the first to wish and sing me a birthday song :D
thanks haikal for the song (:


hmmm i think that's about all. (:
weii besties, when are we meeting up? heheheh

first day of school was okay.
saw the pae pple. it reminded me of us who were in yjc during the first 3 months.. having to go through orientation and stuff. i only saw 4 people from orchid park, including my brother. hurhur.


we're no longer 134 but 229 now. :D

i cant think of what to write actually.
i had something in mind but i cant remember what it was.. hmmm

anyways, we have new teachers now.
math - mrs tan.
chem - mr phua
econs - dunno yet, probably ms tan or smth.
malay and gp still the same. :D

oh yea, we've a new principal too and she seems nice.
her motivational abbreviation reminds me of mr low's.
she said we must BAR! Believe, Act and Reflect. (tt mala go and say BRA hahaha)
like Mr Low's famous equation.. success = TEA. Talent Effort and Attitude. (:
somehow, i feel motivated working towards making 2008 the bestest year to achieve my goals and aspirations! as in.. academic wise la i suppose. cant be career right. haah oh maybe career also can. be a famous tuition teacher. harhar totally not funny.


i'm so happy that i slept at 1.45AM last night because it was worthwhile doing those chemistry stuff. not that i became very smart overnight but it helped me study you know, since like i've been slacking since like forever. and reading up math before going for lecture really helps because i can sleep without feeling much guilt during lecture because i understood the stuff that was taught. then again, maybe i should not sleep in lectures/tutorials anymore. sometimes, it's really hard to resist you know... oh well. guess i'll just have to try harder. (:

i need an early night.
my head's been spinning at random time... it's worrying. hmm

btw, i hate where 229 has to sit in the audi for chem lecture. the seating plan. it's not very convenient to look up and down so many times because we're sitting in front! worst still, not in the middle, but at the side so have to tilt the neck so many times. ughh.


okay bye!

Blogged @ 7:43:00 PM






Blogged @ 1:10:00 AM




hello lovely people!
how are your preparations for school?
i'm not sure how i feel about school right now but i sense a weeny bit of excitement!

oh thanks lovely people for wishing me in advanced!
sarah, ashyura, munyra, azry, royston (he remembered!!), cheryl and ahh lazy to think la.
sorry huh.

i opened up my presents already even though it'd not my birthday yet.
damn shameless.
i love them all!
i love my family!
hahah
but i can only cut my cake like.. tomorrow, you know?
well i guess i'll wait for my nenek la hor. hehehe

anws... i'll be going offline in a few min time so that people can wish me through phone instead lah, k? hoho
good night world! (:

Blogged @ 11:42:00 PM